


Almost One Thousand and One Nights

by ptyx



Series: Mandala [2]
Category: Harry Potter - Rowling
Genre: Angst, M/M, Romance, Vignettes
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2004-08-08
Updated: 2004-10-19
Packaged: 2017-10-11 14:27:05
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 15
Words: 17,348
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/113419
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ptyx/pseuds/ptyx
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Harry and Snape start to know each other, and have to face some demons. A series of interconnected vignettes. Sequel to "Mandala".</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. The Waiting

**Author's Note:**

> Betaed by Morgan D., Paige, Spinning Compass and Teka Lynn.

**Almost One Thousand and One Nights**

**Part I - Beginnings**

**1) The Waiting**

The late 16th Century timber cottage was idyllically situated in a wooded valley of the Severn river, surrounded by moutains, lakes and forests. The nearest village, Trefeglwys, was more than three miles away.

Except for the addition of a balcony and a veranda, it was a typical Welsh cottage. On the first floor, there was a dining room with farmhouse table and benches, a sitting room comfortably furnished with a fireplace and a french door leading to the garden, a toilet and a kitchen with a door to the back garden. In the sitting room, a wooden stair led to the second floor, where a narrow hall opened to Snape's bedroom suite on the left which included a bedroom, a large bathroom and a balcony. Snape's office set to the right of his suite. Outside, at the rear of the back garden, a storage shed had been transformed by Snape into a Potions laboratory. The front veranda faced out to the secluded front garden, which was traversed by a stream.

He had already prepared dinner, leaving it ready to be heated when the moment was right. He had cleared up the house, cleaned the fireplace. Everything was ready. The magical clock showed: "ten minutes to _his_ arrival".

Snape went into the kitchen and poured a glass of Ogden's Old Firewhisky. Then he went back to the sitting room, opened the front door and sat on the easy chair on the veranda. Through the open door, if he turned back, he could see the fireplace.

Five minutes. The boy wouldn't come, it was obvious. He had been a fool to think otherwise. And it was better like that. There were too many dangers involved.

Then why did he feel that cold in his stomach just from considering the possibility that the boy wouldn't show up? Why did he feel his heart sink? Why couldn't his brain assume full control over his reactions?

Oh, if he didn't come, all that hope, all that impossible light that had flared up inside him and guided him during the entire week would extinguish itself. And the world would be darker than ever.

He glimpsed some fairies playing in the garden, spreading their twinkling sparks. They were beautiful. Perhaps Harry would like to see them. Harry... He shouldn't think of him as Harry.

Only two minutes to the hour. What a delusion. Of course he wouldn't come. How could he have believed otherwise? Certainly the next day, remembering the night before, the boy had wondered what he had been thinking, why he had given his virginity to the old and ugly bat. Probably he had felt ashamed and disgusted. And now he was with his friends, having fun or... up to something. Of course he wouldn't come.

Snape remembered how he had opened himself to the teen, how he had made himself vulnerable. Now he, Snape, would pay for that. For having put himself in the hands of a careless and irresponsible brat.

The fairies insisted on shining, almost dazzling him. He took a sip of his Firewhisky. The hour had come, and nothing. The foolish Muggles believed that fairies would make their wishes come true: "sweet fairy, bring me my boy". Ha. Idiots. Fairies were only annoying insects.

If he knew how to love, if he had more experience, perhaps he would have been able to imprint his mark indelibly on the boy's heart. But if there was a subject totally unknown to Severus Snape, it was love. Damn. How deluded he was, thinking that he had a chance! He, with his big nose, sallow skin, greasy hair. Take a look at the mirror, Snape.

One minute after the appointed hour. You are an unmitigated idiot, Snape. Empty your glass, get in and drown your vain hopes in the rough and bitter taste of Firewhisky.

He took the glass to his lips, but suddenly stopped. A thunderous noise made him get up immediately - a reflex acquired in his life of former Death Eater and current spy.

In his sitting room, a skinny figure shook his clothes, though there wasn't even a tiny bit of dust, because Snape had impeccably cleaned the fireplace earlier.

They found themselves face to face, and stayed still for a while.

Snape's heart was beating fast.

Then there it was, the boy had flung himself in his arms, and Snape was squeezing him fiercely.

"I'm so glad you're here! I was afraid that you'd given me the wrong address or something like that," the boy said, in a broken voice.

"Harry..." was all that Snape could say. Then he took the boy in his arms, carried him into the sitting room and laid him on the couch. Dinner could wait. The world could wait.


	2. The Plans

**2 - The Plans**

  
They had started on the couch but, unable to find the necessary space for their wild moves, they soon dived onto the fluffy rug at the centre of the room, where they could roll freely. Their clothes were taken off hastily and spread everywhere. They made love rubbing against each other - _like two sixteen-year-old kids_, thought Snape later, feeling a little embarrassed.

Snape flicked his wand at the fireplace.

"_Incendio._"

And they stayed there, lying on the rug, cuddled up, their heads resting on velvet cushions.

"So? How did you manage to escape from Hogwarts?" asked Snape.

"I followed your plan to the letter. I went to bed with everybody else, by ten o'clock..."

"Each one in their own bed, I hope."

Harry glared at him. "I stayed awake until everybody was asleep, which only happened at eleven o'clock -Seamus and Dean kept chatting for a long time. Then I programmed my alarm clock... you know, the one that keeps nudging you until you turn it off... and I fell asleep. At five the alarm woke me up. I looked to see if everyone was sleeping; they were. I grabbed my Invisibility Cloak, sneaked out of the dorm, and found the Time-Turner behind the portrait of Baldwin the Bald. It was right where you said it'd be. I went back to the Common Room, turned the Time-Turner six times, used the Floo and... here I am. At Snape Manor."

Snape bit his lower lip trying to hold his laugh. Harry's idea of calling the cottage 'Snape Manor' was too much. Snape himself had never given a name to the house, as he had never lived there for a long period of time and had no special attachment to it.

"I didn't expect you to really come," commented Snape after a long silence.

"What do you mean?"

"I had forgotten that you are a foolish Gryffindor, and that you would do anything to get in trouble."

Harry wrinkled his nose. "I spent the whole week thinking about this!" Then Harry gave a deep, disheartened sigh. "But if you think it's too risky, if you don't want me to..."

Snape tried to understand the younger wizard's dejected look. "Would you be willing to put an end to... this?"

"If you wanted to stop, I would understand. That's what I'm saying, nothing else. That's not what I want. But I'd give up on you, if you said it'd be the best for you."

"Noble Gryffindor. I don't want your sacrifice. I risk my life everyday and what do I get in return? Only pain and nightmares. At least in this... there is some compensation," said Snape, rubbing against Harry's body.

"How did you get this Time-Turner?" asked Harry, curious, pulling back his head.

"It's... an illegal one." Seeing Harry widening his eyes, Snape looked at him smugly. "The Head of your House 'borrowed' this one and gave it to me on my last birthday."

"McGonagall? That's amazing! So she's your friend."

Snape shrugged. "Let's say that she is not exactly an enemy. She is soft-hearted and stubborn, and thinks that I need to be protected. I cannot complain: this Time-Turner has been very useful to me, in my... secret activities."

"I bet it has! And she's right in thinking that you need to be protected."

"Hmpf. You Gryffindors are hopelessly sentimental. Very well. When you return to Hogwarts, you will leave the Time-Turner at the same place where you found it; I cannot give it to you. Next Friday we repeat the ritual. And we mustn't forget that at 5 AM you have to be back in your Gryffindor bed. Do you understand the gravity of the situation? A little slip and we will be history."

Harry nodded, solemnly. Then his face seemed to lighten up. "Hmm. This Time-Turner of yours... We could put it to use again tonight, couldn't we? Can't we keep going back in time over and over? So that it never ends?"

"Of course, it is feasible. And it is, indeed, an interesting idea... However, there is a problem. If we go back in time at this very place, we will meet our old selves. And you know that this can have a bad ending."

"Oh, I get it. We can go back in time, but we'd always have to choose places where we hadn't been yet."

"Precisely."

"It's a pity that this is not a Manor," complained Harry. "If it was, we could shag in every single room... We could... live our one thousand and one nights in just one night!"

Snape pushed him back a little to stare at him with a surprised look. "Such enthusiasm! I have a plan. Until now, you have only seen this room... and the dining room, which is a separate area of the same room. We can dine there... I'll summon the food from the kitchen. After dinner, well, we make love for real, like two adults." Snape sneered at Harry, who grimaced at him. "Then we sleep, because I _am_ human. We program the alarm clock for 4 AM. We take the Time-Turner, which must be somewhere in this mess," Snape pointed to the floor "... and we go to the... kitchen. We go back to midnight. We have to prepare meals for all the nights... From the kitchen, we can Apparate in the office." Snape faced him firmly. "I am very aware that you don't know how and are not allowed to Apparate. However, I can carry you in my arms. We will finish our second night in the office. The third night can be spent in my bedroom, which is a suite, with a comfortable bathroom."

"Wicked! A bath full of foam and us naked inside. I bet you have a special aromatic herb to mix with the water..."

A dark eyebrow raised up.

"That can be arranged."

"And didn't you say that you had a lab?"

"Yes, at the rear of the back garden. Perfect. We turn the Time-Turner again and go to the laboratory. It will be our fourth and last night... tonight."


	3. Perfect Gentlemen

**3 - Perfect Gentlemen**

 

Harry found himself landing, in Snape's arms, on a lawn in front of a huge shed. Snape put him on the lawn, led him to a massive timber door and pronounced some unintelligible words. Snape opened the door cautiously, and peered inside.

"Oh," he exclaimed, closing the door.

"What is it?"

The Potions master seemed to ponder for a moment, then stared at Harry intently. "I want you to enter in complete silence, do you understand? And I am not going to turn on the lights. I want to show you something. Do you know the spell to see in the darkness? You don't? What has Flitwick been teaching you? Never mind." Snape shook his head, then flicked his wand in the direction of Harry's eyes. "_Noctividens!_"

Snape opened the door again and, silently, they entered. Dodging cauldrons, armchairs and other strange objects, Snape took him to a great portrait at the back wall of the laboratory.

In the portrait Godric Gryffindor and Salazar Sytherin shagged each other senseless on the floor of a medieval hall that could very well be at Hogwarts; Godric on top, from behind, ravishing Salazar, slamming him mercilessly against the rustic carpet. And Salazar thrust back in the same frenetic rhythm.

Surprised at first, Harry stayed completely still. Snape sat on an armchair facing the portrait and pulled the boy to his lap. Harry leaned on Snape's chest, with his eyes fixed on the portrait, as if hypnotised.

Finally, when the two Hogwarts Founders' rhythm seemed on the verge of tearing down the hall walls, both climaxed almost at the same time. Apparently drained, they lay on the carpet, in each other's arms, and fell asleep, not noticing that they had been observed during their entire amorous act.

"It's so beautiful... I'd never seen two men making love before," commented Harry, letting out his breath in a slow, shaky sigh.

Snape buried his nose in Harry's neck and hugged him strongly. "This portrait was in one of Hogwarts' corridors. One day Salazar asked me to take it from there and to put it in an isolated place, because, you know, they wanted to... And they couldn't do it in front of the students, who kept passing through the corridor all the time. Even at night, after the curfew, some insufferable, rebellious brats insist on walking through the corridors..."

"And some nasty teachers, who want to ambush the innocent little boys," countered Harry.

Tensing, Snape framed Harry's face and scowled at him. "Don't talk like that."

"I was only kidding."

"I know. But people might think... You know, I never touched any of my students... that way."

"Oh. That's not what I meant. I'm sorry."

Snape relaxed, and proceeded with his story. "So, after that, I brought the portrait here, and they seemed to find the arrangements quite satisfying... In the rare times when I am here and I come to the lab, however, they behave as perfect gentlemen."

"Because perfect gentlemen don't shag?" Harry didn't wait for Snape's reply. "You know, this portrait... inspired me: Gryffindor on top..."

"Ahem. I think I can indulge you... this time. But not here, in front of them. Let's go to the other end of the lab and conjure a four-poster bed, with curtains."


	4. The Founders

**4 - The Founders**

  
That night Severus would introduce Harry to Godric and Salazar. The previous week, when they had secretly and voyeuristically watched the two Hogwarts' founders making love, Harry and Snape had taken refuge behind the curtains of their four-poster bed and, at the end of the night, had Apparated from there straight to the sitting room.

The next morning, Snape had told them that Harry was now his lover. At first, they hadn't liked the idea. Both knew Harry Potter; they were well informed of everything that happened at Hogwarts, because of their many portraits there. (In fact, there weren't many portraits of Salazar at Hogwarts, only three. But Godric's elegant figure decorated many rooms of the Castle.)

Godric felt very proud of Harry Potter, and considered him the legitimate heir of his House traditions. The fact that Severus and Harry were teacher and student didn't shock him; nevertheless, he feared that the social prejudices associated with this kind of relationship could disturb even more the already complicated life of both. Salazar, in his turn, viewed Harry with scepticism: he considered the boy too naﶥ and arrogant to accomplish the hard mission that had been assigned to him.

The initial negative reaction had been overcome only when Snape had reminded them of their own situation, and traced some parallels: like them, Snape and Potter symbolized the union of opposite principles. Like them, they would have to confront everything and everyone if they wanted to remain together. Godric, romantic as he was, soon had let himself be convinced. Salazar still resisted. Then Snape reminded Salazar of the power and prestige that might be conferred upon him, Snape, and his noble House, Slytherin, by a union with the future most powerful wizard in the world. If you can't beat him, join him!

Not that this argument had really convinced Salazar, thought Snape. Deep inside, Slytherin wanted to believe that the current Head of his House was doing the right thing. Deep inside, he wanted to be able to finally celebrate the union of a Gryffindor and a Slytherin.

Harry seemed to hesitate all the way through the yard and the laboratory to the portrait. Snape himself was a bit concerned. How strange, that desire to make a good impression on two characters in a portrait. However, it was precisely how he felt.

While still at some distance, they glimpsed Godric and Salazar rising from their chairs to greet them.

Snape made the introductions. "Godric, Salazar, this is Harry Potter. Harry, this is Gryffindor, and this is Slytherin."

"Hello, my boy," said Godric. "I already knew you, even if you never talked to me."

"Good evening, Mr Potter," said Salazar, formally.

"Hello, good evening," answered Harry, struggling not to laugh when he remembered that, in fact, he had already seen them, but in extremely inconvenient circumstances.

"Please sit down," said Snape to the Founders. "You may pull your chairs to the front of the picture, if you wish. I am going to bring two chairs, for Harry and me."

~* ~* ~

  
With a flick of his wand, Snape had made a painting of a tray with an Ogden's Old bottle and two goblets appear on Godric and Salazar's portrait, so that the Founders could drink too. Then he poured a glass of Ogden's Old for himself, and a glass of Butterbeer for Harry.

They were shy initially, but when the alcohol began to take effect, the conversation started to flow more easily.

The innocent Butterbeer seemed to have a stronger effect on Harry than the Firewhisky on the others - to the point of making him ask, "What's like being a portrait? Do you really get to _feel_ things?"

Godric sighed. "We have always been portraits, in fact. The memory of the people we depict is engraved in us, but it will always be a portrait memory. Therefore, I cannot answer your question. What I can say is that we have feelings, and they don't seem very different from yours."

"You, real people, should have more respect for our feelings, and not treat us like mere objects," complained Salazar, bitterly.

"I'm sorry," said Harry. "I never thought of that before. My friend Hermione goes around defending the house-elves' rights, but I don't reckon she's ever thought of defending the portraits' rights! "

"You, Severus," Salazar faced him firmly, "should speak to Dumbledore about the way he treats the portraits in Hogwarts. Especially those who live in his office. He uses them as lackeys."

Snape frowned, thoughtful. "Albus is my boss. I don't know what I could possibly do."

"You could at least try to make Phineas's life better," suggested Slytherin.

"What's the problem with Phineas?" asked Harry.

"Since Black died, extinguishing Phineas's lineage, he is inconsolable. And Dumbledore doesn't realise how much he suffers. He uses him as an office-boy."

"What do you want me to do? Do you want me to move him to this place?" asked Snape, not without a touch of irony.

Godric grimaced. Salazar rolled his eyes.

"Severus, you could take that portrait of Phineas that's in Grimmauld Place to your dungeons. There you could keep an eye on him, and perhaps he could meet some friends to talk to," suggested Harry.

"Albus uses Phineas as a spy. He makes a point of keeping one portrait of Phineas in Grimmauld Place and another in his office," explained Snape.

Salazar shook his head. "This Dumbledore is the greatest manipulator that Hogwarts has ever seen."

"Come on, Salazar, don't say such things," protested Godric. "You know that he is in a very delicate position and... Well, let's change the subject, shall we? I'm sure Harry and Severus will think about Phineas's case and, if they can, they will help him."

Snape got up, filled both his and Harry's glass, then flicked his wand and made the painted empty bottle fill up again. Godric took the bottle and filled Salazar's and his own goblet.

"If you liked each other," Harry dared to ask them, "why did you part ways? Why did Salazar have to leave Hogwarts?"

"Ah, Harry... Politics separated us. Let this be a lesson for you, boys: don't let a political divergence interfere with your feelings for each other."

Salazar snorted. "Godric speaks as if we had a choice."

"And you didn't?" asked Harry.

"There was such a strong antagonism between the Houses that it was impossible to work together. I decided to leave because otherwise the war between us would destroy all the work we had done to create the school."

"But couldn't you have stayed together?" Harry inquired.

"I had to struggle to survive in a world completely hostile, where the persecutions to wizards were becoming more and more intense. And Godric became a kind of Headmaster of Hogwarts. The title didn't exist yet, but he performed the same functions of the later Headmasters."

"I had no time for myself any more," admitted Godric. "However, our mistake was made before, in the beginning. We should have promoted a school spirit, a union spirit, and not divided the school in four Houses like we did."

"Well, Harry and I had already found the school divided in Houses," objected Snape. "I don't know what we can possibly do to change that."

"You are already doing it, my boys," said Godric. "You two have a very important role, and your union may be Hogwarts' salvation."

Snape saw Harry turning to look at him, and Godric and Salazar staring at both with a glimmer of hope in their eyes.


	5. The Foursome

**5 - The Foursome**

They had used the Time-Turner for the third time that night. The first night had been spent on the first floor, the second in Snape's office, and now they were in the spacious and comfortable bed in Snape's suite.

"Hm," said Harry, climbing on top of his lover.

"How eloquent, Potter. What are your intentions towards me?"

Harry blushed. Sometimes he tried to be bolder, but that wasn't really his style. Anyway, gradually he was feeling more at ease with Snape. "Er... To fuck you senseless?"

"Your vocabulary has improved remarkably in the last few weeks..."

"That's because I've been spending a lot of time with you," Harry replied.

Snape grabbed him firmly and rolled on top of him, inverting their positions. Feeling the pressure of Snape's cock rubbing against his, Harry moaned.

Suddenly, a noise made Snape turn his head in alarm. And what he saw made him pale. "Harry... Close your eyes."

Harry obeyed, uneasy. "What is it?"

"Oh, no," said a voice very similar to Harry's, only much more tired and hoarser. "Not again!"

Snape's heart began to beat fast. "Harry, we must have done something very wrong. At some point in our time travels, we made some mistake."

Unable to resist, Harry opened his eyes and saw a more tired and apparently drunk version of himself jumping into the bed at their side. And another Snape, also more tired and very, very drunk, coming after the other Harry.

"Harry, what..." Stumbling, the other Snape stopped. "Oh, no."

Snape rolled off Harry's body and glared at the other Harry. "What have you done, prat?"

The second Harry, with glazed eyes and smelling of wine, threw himself onto Snape. "All right, Sev, there's no point in resisting. We already know what's going to happen. We four are going to shag each other in this bed like there's no tomorrow. Relax and enjoy."

Snape pulled the other Harry away, determinedly. "What is this nonsense? And I won't be spoken to like that! You are so drunk that you can't stand up!"

In fact the one who was so drunk that he couldn't stand up and who stumbled onto the bed right on top of Harry was the second Severus.

"Hey, mind where you fall!" exclaimed Harry.

Severus pulled the other Severus away from Harry. "Will you be as kind as to behave yourself? We arrived here first."

"Ahn," groaned the second Severus. "I knew I should never have involved myself with the son of James Potter."

"What?" said both Harrys in unison.

Severus snorted. "Stop it! Get out now, you two!"

"I told you, we already saw this happening," insisted the second Harry. "We won't get out. We will stay and have a foursome."

Severus pointed to the second Severus, who was already snoring. "Are you sure?"

"Yeah," said the second Harry, jumping again onto Severus. Harry, for his part, grabbed Severus from behind.

Severus sighed. If that had _already_ happened, what would be wrong with surrendering to two Harry Potters at once? The idea had a powerful effect upon his cock.

A few minutes later, if anyone entered Snape's bedroom, they would see Harry working wonders with his mouth on Severus, who was being penetrated from behind by another Harry.

However, before Severus could climax, the other Severus knelt up on the bed, furious. "Stop it right now!"

Seeing the other Severus' dejected look, Harry felt pity and whispered in Severus's ear, "He wants to join us, Severus. I think we should let him."

And Harry organised a foursome in a square: Severus sucking Harry sucking another Severus sucking another Harry sucking Severus.

All of them climaxed sooner or later, except for the second Severus, who really was drained. Both Harrys decided to take care of him: one Harry continued to suck him, while the other Harry alternated kisses and licks and bites. Severus only watched, flabbergasted. Finally, he gave in to the temptation. "I know what can finish him."

And Snape positioned both Harrys and the other Snape in such a way that he could have access to the second Snape's arse. Then, almost affectionately, he began to rim the other Snape's entrance. The second Snape moaned, and writhed, and came almost immediately.

They ended up collapsing and sleeping in a jumble of arms and legs.

~*~*~

  
The second Severus and the second Harry were still sound asleep when Harry lifted his head and found Severus's raised head at the other end of the bed.

"Let's get out of here."

"Where do you want to go?" asked Severus.

"Let's go take a bath, shall we?"

"I'm hungry. We could also summon that fruit salad that I left in the kitchen."

~*~*~

  
About an hour later, Severus and Harry were immersed in Snape's round bath, covered by foam and surrounded by the scent of a mix of herbs, flowers and spices. On a stool beside the bath, there was a large bowl with fruit salad, a ladle, two small bowls, two goblets and two bottles of wine, one of them already empty, and the other half empty.

"Severus," said Harry, hesitant.

"What is it?"

"Er... I didn't know you liked... that licking thing."

"You mean... rimming?"

"Erm, yeah, I think so. Would you like me to rim you?" asked Harry.

Snape blushed, and his eyes twinkled. "It's a very intimate caress, Harry. If you don't want..."

"But I want to!"

Snape pulled him to his lap, face to face, creating waves and spilling some water on the floor of the bathroom. He kissed the boy, marvelling at how the taste of wine mixed with the sweet flavour that was characteristic of Harry, and moved his hips sinuously against him.

Then he whispered in Harry's ear, "I am going to show you first."

Harry's eyes widened.

"I want you to rest your face and arms on the edge of the bath, if you find a comfortable position. Here, on this platform. And spread your legs as much as you can. Yes, like this. This way your beautiful bum is above the water, and accessible to me."

Snape knelt behind him, and separated Harry's cheeks. Holding them firmly apart, Snape began to lick Harry's balls, then the sensitive area between the balls and the anus and, finally, to circle Harry's entrance. Slowly, he started to thrust his tongue inside, rhythmically. Harry whimpered.

Snape pressed his tongue deeper, shoving and flicking it. At the same time, he cupped Harry's cock and began to pump it. In a few minutes, Harry was coming in his hand.

"Oh," said Harry, sitting again at the bottom of the bath. "That was amazing."

"Thank you. If I had a smaller nose, I would be better at this."

Harry chuckled.

"You couldn't be better than that!" Then he gazed at Snape with dreamy eyes. "Now it's my turn."

"Let's have another glass of wine first."

~*~*~

  
While rimming Snape, Harry pretended that his tongue was his cock, and that he could feel every inch of Snape's warm hole. It was so good to feel Snape melting, moaning, whimpering. _Sometimes it's better to give pleasure than to feel it,_ thought Harry, when Snape came violently only from his rimming.

Snape pronounced a cleaning spell and entered the bath again, pulling Harry into a kiss.

Then he served two more glasses of wine, emptying the last bottle.

Sipping his wine, Harry stared at Snape. "Can I ask you..."

"What?"

"Can I ask you who..." Harry felt embarrassed, afraid and drunk, and didn't manage to complete the sentence.

"Yes, you can," replied Snape. "I have rimmed many people, but only one person had the courage to rim me. Because I paid him every Friday."

"You mean, Pier?"

Snape nodded.

"Oh. Then in a way, it was me," said Harry.

Snape shrugged. "If you want to think it was... But it's not the same. I wouldn't exchange you for him. Even with all his experience."

Harry beamed. Then, in silence, they finished their glasses, and stayed snuggled up for some time.

"We still have the lab to go," Harry finally drawled.

"I am awfully sleepy," grunted Snape. "And you're drunk. I think you should go back to Hogwarts." Snape yawned. "It was a very frantic night. Now I need to rest."

"I'm drunk? If I'm drunk, you're as pissed as a newt!"

Snape was going to protest vehemently, but Harry was already picking up the Time-Turner from the stool and putting it around their necks.

"Oh, Sev, I want to say goodbye to Godric and Salazar," said Harry.

But at that precise moment, Snape slid, and both plunged into the water.

"I only hope this bloody thing hasn't turned too many times!" Snape grumbled as soon as they managed to reemerge.

Harry grabbed a towel, and tottered out of the bathtub. "I'm going to look for my glasses in the bedroom," he said.

"No, wait!"

Too late. Harry opened the door and...

The other Severus and the other Harry were lying on the bed, Severus on top of Harry. The other Severus turned his head and looked utterly befuddled. "Harry... Close your eyes," he said to the other Harry.

The other Harry obeyed, uneasy.

"What is it?" asked the other Harry.

"Oh, no. Not again!"


	6. Indelible Marks

**Part II - Exorcisms**

6 - Indelible Marks

I

  
They had been seeing each other for two months, every Friday, at Snape's cottage, and hadn't fought even once. Every time they met, it was almost as if it were the first time. Having to endure a week of sexual deprivation would drive them crazy. After the troublesome, albeit pleasurable, incident in which they had met themselves, Snape flatly refused to use the Time-Turner to other turns beyond the "statutory" one, and he started to control the alcohol intake during their rendezvous.

That night they had had roast beef, roast potatoes, peas and carrots, all brought by Snape from the Hogwarts kitchens - it's not that he didn't know how to cook; it's that he usually didn't have time to do it. He had opened a Muggle French wine of a good vintage. At first, Harry had found the taste of the wine strange, as he had never drunk Muggle alcoholic beverages, but he soon became accustomed to it. After they had feasted on the custard tart, they went to Snape's bedroom upstairs.

However, when they lay down face to face on the bed, Harry in his pyjamas, Snape in his long nightshirt, there was something new in the way Harry looked at Snape, and the latter couldn't help noticing it.

"What is it?"

"Er... Nothing."

"Potter..."

"Don't call me that!"

"When you irritate me, I cannot help calling you 'Potter'. It must be force of habit."

"But I haven't done anything!"

Snape only fixed him with a piercing look.

Harry winced. "Okay, I know. It's just that... I want to know. What I am to you. And don't tell me I'm your student."

It was Snape's turn to wince. "Technically, besides my student, you are my lover. A very dangerous combination."

"'Technically'. But is it really... only that?"

"Only that?" Snape sighed seeing the disheartened expression in the boy's face. "Harry, you don't want me to declare my undying love for you, do you? If that's the case, you can give up your hopes. I am too old to believe in fairy tales and eternal love."

"But... if it's only sex, what's the difference if it's with me or Pier?"

"Sex is not 'only sex'. I mean, it can be. However, between us, it is not. All right? Are you satisfied? Or do you want to continue to 'discuss our relationship'?"

"Hmph. It's such a girly thing, isn't it? But... er... it's the first time that I... Well, that I feel the way I do."

Snape snorted. "So, you are _in love_ with me. Don't tell me that you have never fallen in love before."

"Oh, I've had one or two crushes. The first one was on Cho."

"The Ravenclaw Seeker?"

"Yep."

"So you are not _incurably_ gay."

Harry shrugged. "Well, my second crush was... Sirius."

Snape's expression turned stormy immediately, and he grabbed Harry by the shoulders with fury. "Black. He... he didn't..."

Harry widened his eyes. Snape was hurting him, digging his nails in the boy's skin. Harry was so terrified that he couldn't reply.

Snape shook him fiercely. "Harry, if you tell me that he touched one hair of your head..."

"Ouch! You're hurting me. Stop it!"

Coming back to his senses, Snape released him abruptly. Aghast, he got up and went out to the balcony.

A cold breeze whipped his nightshirt around him. He buried his face in his hands.

"Severus..."

"Go away," said Snape, his voice hoarse and his hands still over his face, without turning to face Harry, who had approached him from behind.

Harry touched his shoulders gently. Snape pretended he hadn't noticed.

"Don't be upset. What is it?"

The older wizard let his arms fell by his side and turned around heavily. He gazed at Harry with a pained expression. "Go back inside, it's too cold here," he said to the boy. "You are going to catch your death."

Snape spun him around and pushed him delicately from behind.

Harry let himself be led. As they reentered the bedroom, he turned around again and embraced Snape. "He never touched me, Severus. It was only a fantasy of mine."

Snape stroked his shoulders softly, in the same place he had grabbed the boy violently before. "I hurt you, and I didn't have the right, Harry. You... shouldn't be here with me. I am not a good person. I am going to damage you."

Harry hugged him more tightly and leaned his face against Snape's chest, choking on a sob. "Severus, don't talk like that. You... you were only mad because... because it was him, and... I know how you feel about him."

"The problem is not him, it is me."

"You... you only got jealous, and..."

"There are no excuses for my behaviour, do you understand?"

"But you didn't hurt me much... And even if you had really hurt me, I'm a wizard and..."

Snape pushed him away briskly. "You don't understand. It's like an addiction. I cannot help it. I enjoy inflicting pain."

"You didn't seem to enjoy it. Not even when you were doing it."

"It's pointless, you don't understand."

Harry tried to get closer, but Snape turned his back on him. Harry held him by the elbow. "All right, then it was horrible, but now it's over. I forgive you. Try to forgive yourself. Give yourself another chance! I... I won't let you hurt me any more. Okay?"

Snape spun around and grabbed the younger wizard hard in his arms, burying his nose in the boy's unruly hair.

"Forgive me, Harry," he said in a low, cracking voice. "Next time I hurt you, don't think twice: cast an Unforgivable on me."

Then Snape carried him to the bed.

~*~*~

**II**

  
_That night he made love to me more tenderly than ever. He kissed my eyelids, smoothed my eyebrows, traced my lips with his finger, stroked my face with his knuckles. He made me moan lightly biting my earlobe and licking the shell of my ear._

He buried his nose under my chin, pulling me against him, then bit my neck and my shoulders. He circled my nipples oh, so slowly, and trailed a line of wet, soft kisses down my chest until he found my navel, which he lapped and licked and sucked, making all those wild noises. I marvelled when he caught my hand in his own and sucked my fingers, one by one. Then he knelt at my feet on the bed and did the same to my toes. I felt tears springing to my eyes when I saw him sucking my toes. I was hard as a rock, and he hadn't even touched any of the parts that I used to consider to be erotic.

Afterwards, he rolled me onto my stomach, and massaged my shoulders and my back with some oil - one of his potions. Every time he pressed a sensitive point on my back, I arched against him. He also rubbed the oil on my feet, legs and thighs. Finally, he massaged my buttocks, his firm hands squeezing my cheeks, and his fingers slithering between them, making me hold my breath. He lay on top of me, and I heard his heart beating wildly, as fast as mine. I turned over beneath him, and the shock of our naked bodies meeting face to face was so strong that we both groaned at the same time.

I wrapped my arms and legs around him; he still played with my nipples for a long while, biting, licking, sucking, pinching them mercilessly. Then he prepared me with his skilful fingers, filling me with a lube he said to be special.

He entered me smoothly, and I was so excited that I almost came immediately. He stayed motionless for some time, then he started to make love to me, very slowly. What can I say? He made me melt into a puddle. He made me come twice, and he remained inside me, hard and erect.

Finally I asked him how he could do that. He gave me one of his trademark smirks and told me that it was a very special potion: one that didn't let him come and aroused me at the same time. I told him that I wanted to see him coming too; I begged him to - because feeling him coming inside me... it's better even than coming myself. He humoured me, and cast a spell to cancel the effect of the potion.

Then we came together. I had tears in my eyes, and he, concerned, asked me if he had hurt me. I hugged him fiercely and said that now I knew that he loved me, because otherwise he wouldn't be able to make love to me that way. He didn't say a word, but he hugged me back as if he would never let me go.


	7. Trust

**7 - Trust**

  
It was another one of those talks they had now and then when they were in bed, after they had shagged and slept and shagged again. Snape stared at him with sudden curiosity.

"Remember that day, when you tried to pass through the veil? Why did you do it? Did you really want to kill yourself or just to meet..." Snape paused and hissed the name between clenched teeth, with the rage he always associated with it. "...Black?"

Harry looked surprised. Then he frowned, seeming to ponder. "Perhaps both."

"Do you still think of killing yourself?"

"No. Since I entered the mandala... and since I started to think of you differently... I've stopped thinking about that."

"And do you still miss Black?"

Harry took Severus's hand between his own. "Yes. But not like before."

"What do you mean?"

"He was... the last hope I had of being a happy child. Of having someone to protect me, as a child. With his death, I had to overcome the desire of having a person like that."

Snape squeezed his hand and kept silent for some time. "I'm sorry that you didn't have anyone to protect you, a parental figure with whom you might identify yourself," he said, finally. "I'm also sorry that you have chosen such a difficult person as a lover."

Smiling, Harry brushed Snape's hair from his face. "Yeah, you force me to mature, because someone has to be mature in this relationship," he joked.

Snape glared at Harry and rolled on top of him, crushing him. "What did you say? Apologise."

"Ouch! Okay, I'm sorry."

Snape rolled off him and tried to keep his distance, propped on his elbow, facing Harry with a hurt look on his face. But Harry stroked his arms, waist, hips, and he let himself fall on the pillow again, more relaxed.

"To tell you the truth," said Harry, "you've been a perfect lover."

A dark eyebrow arched, and the thin lips formed a smirk.

~*~*~

  
On another night, it was Harry who suddenly said, "I can't believe you really tortured people when you were a Death Eater."

Snape paled and turned sombre immediately. "I don't want to speak about it. Don't bring my past to our bed," he declared drily.

Harry flinched. "All right, Severus."

"There's no forgiveness for what I have done, do you understand? I should have been put in Azkaban for life. That was the least that they should have done. But Albus, in his infinite mercy, vouched for me and didn't let me be punished."

Harry gazed at him with scepticism.

"Do you think he only wanted to use me?" asked Snape. "That's not the entire truth. Of course I have been and still am useful to him. Thank Merlin for that. If I couldn't do even that much, I would have killed myself already."

"Don't say that!"

Snape continued as if he hadn't heard him. "Albus doesn't know what Evil is. That's why he can always forgive. He doesn't understand. If he did, he wouldn't be so forgiving."

"But he's not as good as he seems. He uses people."

"That has nothing to do with his goodness or evilness. He does what has to be done to achieve his ends."

"That's rather Slytherin, isn't it?"

Now calmer, Snape raised an eyebrow. "Well observed."

"He made me live with the Dursleys. I can't understand that kind of goodness," said Harry sardonically. "Besides, he knew he could trust you."

"How do you know that he knew?"

"Because I know that he has the same perception that I acquired in the mandala."

"Oh, it's true. I had forgotten."

"And I trust you."

A sparkle shone in the onyx eyes. Snape's long arms reached to the younger wizard's slender body and pulled it against his own.

"You are utterly insane."


	8. Snivellus

**8 - Snivellus**

  
I

  
For the first time, they were fighting, and for a ludicrous reason: Snape was complaining because Harry had slept on his favourite pillow, and he had had to use the other one.

"You're such a crybaby, Severus."

Snape got cross immediately, and rolled over on the bed, turning his back to Harry.

Harry touched his shoulders. "Severus?"

Snape didn't answer, and recoiled further.

Harry embraced him from behind, and leaned his head on Snape's arm, silently. Unwittingly, the images started to flash through his mind, as in a movie. James and Sirius mocking the boy who was crying, his head concealed by his arms on a desk. The dark-haired and sallow-faced boy sobbing. Sirius pulling his hair, forcing him to lift his head and show his reddened and wet face. James cackling. _"Look at Snivellus. How pathetic!"_

"Severus," said Harry, in a broken voice.

Snape turned around abruptly. "You entered my mind! Who gave you permission? You really are a Potter!"

"No! I didn't mean to... I only wanted to understand you, to reach you... You're so distant! Then the images started to appear..."

Harry brushed the hair from Snape's face.

"I'm not like them, Severus. I love you. And I love that boy that you were. I love Snivellus."

Snape's face contorted in a pained grimace, and he grasped Harry tightly to himself. "Harry... make love to me. I want to feel you inside me."

~*~*~

II

  
_He starts to stroke my body, with his hands, lips and tongue, exploring every surface, massaging down to the sinews of my muscles. He touches my nipples, at first lightly, then squeezing, licking, biting them passionately. I can't control myself anymore, I moan and arch my body against his._

His eyes shine like green beacons in the night. Without saying a word, he gets up, his young body lithe and flexible, his cock half-erect. He opens the bedside table drawer and produces the lube. He opens the cap with slow movements. Impatient, I see him spreading the lube over his cock. That vision is too much for me. I swallow hard. It's not the first time I've let him top, but it is a delicate moment: he has just touched a very intimate part of me, and I am opening myself completely to him.

He lifts up my legs and spreads the lube over my entrance, probing me with his fingers, making small circles. Then he scoots across the bed to lie almost at right angles to me. And finally there he is, a delicious pressure at my arse, growing harder and firmer as I deliberately relax, willingly opening myself to him until he slides home in one smooth, deep, slow stroke, burying himself to the root. No pain, no stretching, just sliding majestically in, filling my body and soul, moaning his satisfaction at the easy entry. His balls, heavy and soft against my arse, feel so marvellous.

He starts to move, always slowly, in long thrusts - just the way he knows that I like. He reaches out and caresses my face. I hold his hand with mine, and squeeze it, lacing our fingers together. He looks at me with glazed eyes. When I start to move, his other hand closes possessively around my cock and he begins to pump with a sure, firm rhythm. He changes the angle a little and... oh.

Hearing me moaning, he smiles, panting. My cock starts to throb.

"Harry... Say again what you said to me earlier. Call me Snivellus. I want to exorcise this name forever."

And Harry, in a sob, almost climaxing, says, "Snivellus, I love you."

Then I can't see, hear, smell or feel anything else, except the pure bliss.


	9. The Queen

**Part III - Intermezzo**

  
9 - The Queen

  
"Albus, the Sandpotion has been completed."

"Wonderful news, Severus!"

Snape, seated in front of the Headmaster's desk, stared at him with a determined look. "I believe it to be my duty to inform you that I have performed extensive tests among the Death Eaters, and that I have observed that, in higher dosages, the potion might alter their personalities so drastically that they prove themselves incapable of continuing the practice of the Dark Arts."

"You haven't used the Death Eaters as guinea pigs, have you?"

"My tests were performed within perfectly acceptable safety limits."

The Headmaster stroked his long beard. "That will cause me problems in the future, I guess."

"Nobody suspects anything, don't be concerned. If I might ask, I would like to know what are your plans concerning the Sandpotion."

"Oh, from what you have been telling me, it has wonderful effects upon the wizards. It enhances their perceptive powers. I believe we are going to need it when the war intensifies. And even now, we can use it as an instrument of physical and psychological healing."

"Anyway... knowing it can be used to... turn the Death Eaters away from their evil purposes..."

"That's dangerously close to Dark Arts. I wouldn't like to deal with this, Severus."

Snape got up, angry. "Albus, I don't understand. Why don't you finish the Dark Lord once and for all?"

Dumbledore tilted his head, surprised. "Even if we managed to change the personalities of every single Death Eater so Voldemort is left without any followers, he can always find others. As a last resource, he could use _Imperius_. The Death Eaters are not the problem; the problem is Voldemort. And the Wizarding World."

"That was not what I asked and you know that very well. I want to know why don't you defeat the Dark Lord once and for all."

The Headmaster got up too, and went to Fawkes's perch. He stroked the scarlet feathers. Fawkes raised his golden tail.

"Do you like to play chess, Severus?"

"I have no time for games. And I know that, in your game, I am just a pawn."

"Oh, you are wrong. You are a very important piece."

"The Rook, perhaps."

Dumbledore grinned. "Be that as it may, in the game as I see it, Harry is the King. He still doesn't have the possibility of broad movements, and must be protected. I am... the Queen."

"Ha."

"The piece with more resources and freedom of movement. You know that losing the Queen is something very dramatic in a game."

"You are saying that you don't want to take risks, because we have to protect the little King."

"Precisely. If I decided to face Riddle, perhaps I would win, perhaps not." Dumbledore lifted his hand to stop Snape's protest. "I know, you think I am more powerful than he is. But sometimes the more powerful is not the winner in a duel. Especially when the opponent doesn't play fair."

A little begrudgingly, Snape nodded. "But if we 'turn off' the Death Eaters with the potion, this will disturb the Dark Lord's plans. I know him well. That would delay his plans. And gaining time is crucial... for our King."

"Severus, this will be a long war. It will take decades, perhaps."

"How can you know?"

"I don't know!" Dumbledore declared with a mischievous look. "But I feel that it will be. Because... the Wizarding World won't change in one day. This is a long process."

"You... What are you talking about? To change the Wizarding World?"

"I have defeated a Dark Lord before. And has the world changed? As soon as one was gone, another was rising. I have lived 150 years, Severus, and I'm tired. If I, you or perhaps Harry go there and simply kill the Dark Lord, we will be worshipped and tempted to become the next Dark Lord. Or another powerful Dark Wizard will appear. We need to show the Wizarding World that the dark path is not the correct one. We need to defeat the Darkness tactically and strategically, and have the Wizarding World rise against those ideas that cause the appearance of those nefarious characters and movements."

"Politics. You are talking about politics. However, while you perform your... political moves... people die. People sacrifice themselves. People live in hell."

Dumbledore approached Snape, and grabbed his shoulders. "Don't think that I don't know, my boy. Don't think that I don't care. It's just that I have a more comprehensive view of the entire picture, of the entire game."

"A more comprehensive view..." Snape snorted. "How convenient, for you, to have this 'more comprehensive view'! You don't do anything. You don't risk yourself. You are the most powerful wizard in the whole world. What about us, mere mortals? What about your little King, whom you raised like one raises a monster?"

Dumbledore stared at him in astonishment. Furious, Snape turned and left the Headmaster's office.

~* ~* ~

  
In a few minutes, Harry would be entering that door. It was always both joy and a torture to have him near: the joy of being close and the torture of not being allowed to touch him.

"Hi!"

There he was, coming in his direction, so full of energy, so _alive_.

"Good evening, Mr Potter," said Snape.

"Good evening, Harry," said a voice coming from a portrait.

"Hey, hello, Phineas! Severus, did you find another portrait of Phineas?" asked Harry, looking to the wall facing Snape's desk.

"I found it in an abandoned class in the dungeons. Godric and Salazar will be happy to know that now Phineas can come here and disturb me when he is bored."

Phineas snorted. "As if you didn't love to gossip with me about Albus!"

Snape scowled at him. "Go talk to the Headmaster, will you? I need to have a serious talk with the hero of Gryffindor."

Grumbling, Phineas disappeared from the portrait.

"Severus... What's going on with you? There's something troubling you." Harry sat in front of him, at the desk.

"I shouldn't tell you this. If I had a plan, if I knew what to do, I wouldn't tell you."

"But you know how I hate when people hide things from me. Or don't my feelings count for anything, in your opinion?"

Snape gave him a bitter smile. "I would like to be Slytherinish now and bargain for a... _reward_, considering that I am going to tell you anyway. But you know, I have no energy for that now."

"Spit it out, Severus."

Snape stared deeply in Harry's eyes.

"Dumbledore doesn't want to use the potion on the Death Eaters. He doesn't want to face the Dark Lord now. He wants to gain time and play politically to raise the Wizarding World against the Dark Lord."

Harry blinked, and pondered for some instants. "I see. He doesn't give a damn about what happens to us." He smiled sadly.

Snape would have liked to hug him, to tell him that everything was going to be all right, but he would be the last person to lie to Harry. And there was another unpleasant subject to mention. "Harry, today is our last Remedial Potions class this term. Summer holidays are near."

"Yeah. I know."

"You will have to go to the Dursleys. Dumbledore has confirmed it for me."

"It's always the same. I'm already used to it." Suddenly, a flash of pain crossed the boy's face. "Oh. We won't be able to meet during the holidays, right?"

"We still have two Fridays until then. Tomorrow, and the Friday after your exams. On the second Friday of June, there will be an Order meeting. Dumbledore wants us to spend the entire weekend at Grimmauld Place. And after that, we will be on holiday." Snape looked at Harry inquisitively. "The day after tomorrow, Saturday, it's the Quidditch final. Perhaps you would prefer to stay at Hogwarts on the eve, resting, instead of..."

"No! If we only have two days, I will be there, there's no question about it. We can go back one night with the Time-Turner, so that I can rest before the game, can't we?"

Snape gave him a half smile. "You are a fool indeed, trusting me that way. What if I put something in your drink?"

Harry narrowed his eyes at the Potions master. "If you try something funny, you will taste the fury of my vengeance!"

Almost painfully, Snape gave in and laughed.


	10. Severus's Saga

**Part IV - Variations**

  
10 - Severus's Saga

  
They had just made love in Snape's bed, at the cottage. The day after, there would be the great Quidditch final, between Gryffindor and Slytherin.

"You're different," said Harry, staring at him for a long time.

"What do you mean, different?

"Calmer. More beautiful.

Snape arched both eyebrows. "Explain."

"Oh, I don't know. Even Lavender and Parvati noticed. I heard them talking."

"Oh, so I have finally become the Slytherin Sex God?"

Harry pinched his bum.

"Ouch! Just because you are jealous, there's no reason to assault me physically," complained Snape .

Harry wrinkled his nose. "It's because of me?"

Snape narrowed his eyes at his lover. "Always thinking that the world revolves around you. Tut, tut. Probably it is a by-product of having prepared the Sandpotion. It is similar to what happens to the alchemists: the _opus_ changes its creator. I have felt it many times, myself."

"But are you feeling different? Better?"

"I... It helped me to accept who I was and who I am."

"That's great, Severus. Er... Do you think that now you can tell me things from your past?"

"Perhaps. It's not a pleasant story. Are you sure that that's what you want?"

"I... I need to know."

Snape nodded. "Let's have supper and then... we may talk outdoors on the veranda. It's too hot inside, isn't it? Summer came early this year."

~* ~* ~

  
About an hour later, they were sitting in the veranda, on a porch swing - an easy-chair transfigured by Snape. The crickets chirped, and the fairies flew between the bushes.

"What do you want to know, Harry?"

"Er... Everything."

"The whole saga? Since my childhood?"

"Yes."

Snape breathed deeply. "My father was a bastard. He was a pure-blood, but financially broken. A loser. He took refuge in alcohol, and he used to beat my mother. She was a gentle, delicate person, and ended up killing herself. I was still in Hogwarts when it happened."

"Oh, Severus, I'm so sorry!"

"Well, _that_ was not your fault," said Snape, unsuccessfully trying to lighten the mood.

"Please, go on," requested Harry.

"Soon after that, he was hospitalised for cardiac and respiratory problems, among other diseases, all due to excessive alcohol intake. Some weeks later he died, with his brain totally damaged. He was a monster, and I hated him. Because of him, I had to learn to defend myself very early. I began to devour all the books of magic I could find, and only the Dark Arts could give me the means of defence against him - not that there aren't 'Light Magic' spells as powerful as the Dark Magic ones, but they are more difficult to master. I was still a child."

Snape took another deep breath before proceeding. "At Hogwarts, soon I became the target of the hostility of your father and his friends. Sincerely, I don't know who started it, but I was one, and they were four. It's true that Pettigrew wasn't a very powerful wizard, and that Lupin never performed any act of violence against me directly, but even so, I am sure that he was the brain behind many of the ambushes they crafted against me. In any case, they made my life a living hell. And to make things even worse, the Headmaster always sided with them, because they were Gryffindors. His beloved Gryffindors," said Snape between clenched teeth.

"Even when Sirius sent you to the Shrieking Shack knowing that Remus was there, transformed into a werewolf?"

"Oh, it was then that I lost all my hopes of justice. Black received only a month of detention with Dumbledore, and I was forced to keep silence under the penalty of expulsion. I could not leave Hogwarts: my mother had died, and I didn't want, by any means, to live with my father. And he would have killed me if he found out I had been expelled."

"Bloody hell!"

"Precisely my thoughts: bloody hell. My only friend in all this was... Lucius Malfoy."

Harry frowned. "Ouch. That's what I feared. Were you... lovers?"

"Oh, no! I was in love with him, of course. He was my first crush. But he was too high class and too smug to even entertain the idea of having an affair with me. No, he was, in his egocentric way, my friend. Then, when I left Hogwarts, I went to live with him. My father had already died, and I had to sell all his properties to pay his debts."

Harry let out a relieved sigh, and Snape couldn't help noticing it.

"Oh, you were concerned that Lucius could be your... rival, weren't you?"

"Of course! He's so much more... interesting than me."

"Don't say such foolish things! He's a pretentious bastard." Snape pulled Harry closer to him and sat him on his lap, giving him a long kiss. "Do you still want to hear the rest of the story?" asked Snape when the kiss came to an end.

"Yes, I do."

Snape held Harry's hand. "Very well. At that time, Lucius was already a Death Eater. And it didn't take much for him to convince me to join the Dark Lord: one meeting was enough. The Dark Lord showed great enthusiasm at the possibility of adding me to his ranks: Lucius had told him that I was very good in Potions and in Defense Against the Dark Arts. He... made me feel important, needed. His speech against Muggles... I didn't pay attention to it. In fact, I was used to those ideas. It was the same speech I had heard from my father. And in Slytherin, almost everyone shared those ideas. I hated my father, but I didn't realise I was subscribing to ideas similar to his."

Snape kept quiet for some moments.

Harry squeezed his hand. "And so... you joined them. And... is it true what you told me, that you were the best torturer among them?"

Snape gave him a bitter smile. "The best torturer... Yes, I was efficient. I think all those years of being abused by my father had taken their toll, and I ended up becoming like him." A shiver ran through his spine. "How disgusting. The only thing I can say to defend myself is that I didn't kill my victims. I took pride in not killing them. During six months, I managed not to trespass those limits... But one day, the Death Eaters were planning a raid on a Hogsmeade inn. They said that in that inn lived the family of one of the greatest enemies of our cause, McKinnon. And I was chosen to take part in the raid, along with eight of the most violent Death Eaters. Among them, Dolohov, the Lestranges, Travers and Mulciber."

The disgusted look on Harry's face alarmed him, and brought him back to the present moment.

"Harry... Do you hate me? Despise me? Don't want to see me ever again?"

"No... No, Severus. You've never hidden from me that you weren't proud of your past. I've always known, and I'm here, despite that."

"However, it's different when you learn that... that it was _real_. That it really happened."

"Yes. I'm not going to say that I'm not disturbed. But now... Well, is there anything else? You better tell me everything now."

Snape shuddered. "We attacked the inn. I never saw so much blood and pain. I was the neophyte, and they didn't expect much of me. Nonetheless, suddenly a Muggle approached me, and I tried to cast _Imperius_ on him instead of killing him. I think he became so terrified that he died of fright. I stood there paralysed, shocked. The other Death Eaters dragged me out. As it was my first time, they didn't punish me. And I felt so bad because no one punished me. I wanted to be punished. I couldn't believe that I had participated in that carnage, and that I had killed someone. I think that, in that moment, I realised the hell I had put myself in."

"Then you decided to go back to Dumbledore?"

"I don't know if 'decided' is the right word. _Something_ took me there. I _crawled_ to him. Sincerely, my only wish was to die. But... he put me on my feet again. He gave me a new purpose: to finish the Dark Lord. And he said I would make a difference. He said that nobody else could do what I would do."

"He's such a bastard. A manipulator."

"He is, but he did save me, Harry. If it wasn't for him, I wouldn't have survived."

"But he made you go back and take part in all this... hell?" asked Harry, aghast.

"Exactly. Those were the worst months of my life. And my life wasn't a rose garden, as you can judge from what I have told you."

"And you... you continued to torture people, and to take part in massacres and... all that?"

"Yes. I did my best to avoid hurting people for real, of course. Albus taught me some tricks, and I used some potions. It wasn't easy, because a part of me enjoyed the violence, enjoyed inflicting pain. But since then, I've had a purpose behind my acts. I had Albus Dumbledore to give meaning to my life," finished Snape.

Harry shook his head, nauseated.

"It's true, Harry. Thinking of Albus helped me to keep my sanity."

"But he's the greatest madman of all!"

"Perhaps. I still have to believe in him to stand my own life... albeit now I have you."

Harry shuddered and left Snape's lap, standing up. "No! I don't want you to do these things in my name! Never!"

Snape let out a disheartened sigh, and looked at Harry with almost begging eyes.

Harry blinked. A tear glinted in his eye. Then Snape got up, and Harry flung himself in his arms.

"Why is life so complicated, Severus? Why can't I do what I think is the right thing? Why is it that I don't know what is right and what is wrong any more? Why isn't everything black or white?"

Snape gave a choked laugh. "Welcome to the hell of being an adult, Harry Potter. But you already lived in hell before, didn't you? Now let's turn the Time-Turner and try to sleep, because you must be prepared to face the biggest defeat of your life tomorrow."

Harry couldn't find the energy to laugh. He only let himself be pulled by Snape into the house.


	11. A Candle

**11 - A Candle**

  
That was the last Friday they would be able to spend together before summer holidays. Harry had just arrived at the cottage, and they had gone straight to Snape's bedroom.

"I hope you have done well in your exams," said Snape, while they took off their clothes.

"I think I did quite well. Better than Hermione, I reckon! I've always been good in Defence, but now I'm doing well in Charms and Transfigurations too."

Snape glared at him. "And in Potions?"

"Ahem, you know, if I do too well in Potions, I won't need to take Remedial Potions any more, so..."

Snape snorted. "That was the most Slytherin excuse I have ever heard from any student! Perhaps you deserve to _fail_ in Potions this year, what do you think? In order to remain another year at Hogwarts?

Harry laughed, taking off his shoes. "Did you er... get upset last Saturday, when I caught the Snitch and shattered your dreams?"

"Of course I got upset. It wasn't fair; we played so well!"

"Do you know what? It's true. It was the best Slytherin team I've ever played against. Montague was amazing!"

Snape had a proud look on his face. "That very diluted Sandpotion I gave him did well for him. I am absolutely sure he will pass his exams. I just don't know if the Ministry's bureaucracy will let him pass. If he were a Gryffindor, if he were you..."

"I know. They would make exceptions. Can't Dumbledore do anything?"

"He told me he will do his best."

"I felt guilty for defeating Montague," admitted Harry.

"Nonsense. Try to think as the Japanese do. Or rather as they used to think in the glorious samurai era: what is expected from you is that you give your best. Montague should feel proud of himself, because he faced one of the best Seekers that Hogwarts has ever seen, and because this Seeker had to give his best to defeat him. At least that was what I told him, and I think he... bought it."

"That's not a Slytherin thing, in the least."

"I know, but we lost. As a Slytherin, I acted pragmatically, and chose the moral that suited me best at the moment. To comfort myself, I had to use another speech. Do you want to know what I said to myself?"

"Of course. But please finish undoing your buttons."

Snape rolled his eyes. "Well, I told myself that, while that Seeker had destroyed my House's dream of victory, I was proud of him. Because... he is mine. Only mine."

"Oh. That was... unexpected."

Now totally naked, they embraced each other and exchanged a long and passionate kiss.

Snape stared at his lover with an intense look. "I would like to try something different with you tonight. Do you think you can trust me?"

"I've always trusted you, Severus. It's you who don't trust... or didn't trust... yourself."

"Well, after what I told you last week, you might feel insecure."

"If you feel sure enough to go on, I won't let you down."

Snape flashed another near smile. He was getting used to nearly smiling, perhaps even beginning to _learn_ to smile. He pushed Harry onto the bed, gently. Then he opened the bedside table drawer and produced a red candle.

"_Never_ try this, alone or with another person, with an ordinary candle. This candle is special, it burns at lower temperatures." Seeing the way his lover's eyes were gleaming, Snape had to struggle hard to keep his self-control. "Also you shouldn't try to use aromatic candles like this one. The essences that I added to its wax won't cause you any damage, but the same cannot be said of the candles they sell in Hogsmeade, or in the Muggle stores."

"Oh... Are you going to..."

"Sshhh. You will see. _Lumos_."

The candle was lit. Snape sat at the edge of the bed, beside Harry's naked body.

"Many people enjoy blindfolding their partners but... I prefer not to do that. I prefer not to play power games when I am with you. So, if you want, close your eyes, and only feel," murmured Snape in a hoarse and sensual voice.

Harry closed his eyes.

Snape dripped the first drop of wax near one of Harry's nipples. The boy writhed as soon as the wax touched his skin, and moaned in pleasure when the wax wrapped itself around his nipple. Snape repeated the same process with the other nipple, now dropping the wax right over the peak. Making his lover moan and writhe more and more intensely, Snape continued to spill wax over his belly, navel, thighs.

"Don't worry, we will remove all the wax later, with a cleaning spell. It won't hurt," said Snape, seeing Harry opening his eyes, lifting his head and shooting a concerned look at the wax spread all over his body.

Harry lay down again, apparently trying to relax. Snape lifted his lover's legs and dropped some wax around his entrance, making him gasp.

"Relax. This wax is very special. After melting, it doesn't solidify again: it transforms itself in a lubricant," explained Snape.

Totally focused, Snape dropped wax over his own cock. Oh, that was intense. Almost too much. He closed his eyes for an instant. When he opened them, he saw Harry staring at him, as if mesmerised. Then Snape put the candle on a plate on the bedside table, positioned himself for the best angle and entered Harry in one smooth thrust.

It was like being at home again after a long journey of pain and weariness. He was getting used to that sensation, and he couldn't imagine his life without the Gryffindor boy any more - the Gryffindor boy who was gripping him with all his might.

A few more thrusts and the boy was going to come. Snape stretched his hand to grab the candle carefully. He thrust out and in again, plunging his cock to the root into Harry, brushing against his prostate once, twice, three times. Then, just when Harry's cock began to throb, Snape dripped on it the melted wax that had accumulated on the top of the candle. Harry screamed and arched his body in wild pleasure. That vision was too much for Snape, who came too, feeling some hot drops touching his own cock.

~* ~* ~

  
A few minutes later, when both were still basking in the afterglow, Snape looked at Harry determinedly.

"I won't leave you alone there the whole summer. Absolutely."

Harry gaped. "They... don't beat me. They're not so bad."

"Yes, they only leave you starving and lock you in cupboards, I know," replied Snape sardonically.

Harry shrugged and didn't say a word.

"Nothing is going to change my mind. I am going to see you there, at least two days a week."

Harry flashed an ear-to-ear smile.


	12. Hold Your Tongue

**12 - Hold Your Tongue**

  
Snape had told Harry he would always Apparate right onto Harry's bed at midnight. He had advised him to lock the door every night. Harry had explained to Snape that his uncle not only didn't let him keep the key but also locked him inside and entered his bedroom whenever he felt like it, without bothering to knock. Then Snape told him not to worry, just shut the door, and go to bed.

It was Harry's third night at the Dursley's, and Snape hadn't appeared yet. Maybe he had given up. It was too dangerous.

Harry sighed, turned to his right and lay his head on his arm. He hugged himself with his left arm, imagining that it was Severus's arm embracing him. Snuggling beneath the blankets, he felt his eyes heavy with sleep.

"Disobedient boy, didn't I tell you to stay awake waiting for me?"

Harry's eyes widened, and he stared at Snape, astonished. "Hey, what a fright you gave me, what's up with you?"

"If you are going to stay there whinging, I will go away, and take the basket of food that I brought with me."

Harry smiled and hugged him.

"Did you cast a silencing charm on my bedroom?"

"Of course. Otherwise, your relatives would have heard when I Apparated. I had to Apparate outside of the house first; then I cast _Silencio_ on your bedroom, and finally, Apparated here."

Harry rubbed his body lasciviously against his lover's, caressing his arms and back, smelling his throat and his hair.

"Oh, you've used a different shampoo today." He smelled Snape's hair again. "Hm, delicious."

"It is made from micro-sponges from lizard's eyes."

"Ugh. No wonder your hair gets oily so fast, if you use products like that."

"You don't know a thing about shampoos."

Harry covered his own mouth with his hands to stifle his laughter. Snape shook his head, with an offended look. "I knew I shouldn't have come."

"No," Harry said hastily, trying to embrace him again. "I'm sorry, come here."

Reluctantly, Snape let himself be hugged, but didn't reciprocate.

"Oh," Harry moaned, lifting his lover's robe, "you're not wearing anything under your robe."

"All in the name of practicality. Moreover, this robe doesn't have any buttons," announced Snape, helping Harry to get rid of it. "Now, for God's sake, hold your tongue and let me love."

"What?"

"It's from a poem by John Donne, illiterate boy," grumbled Snape, producing the lube from a pocket on his robe before hanging the robe on the headboard.

"It doesn't sound very romantic, but in your voice, and with this micro-whatever-of-lizard-thingy scent, if you don't take me now I think I'm going to come without you."

Snape snorted. "Teen hormones."

Harry wrapped his arms and legs around Severus, pulling him against his body. "So why is it that you're as horny as I am?"

"Let's see if I can find a better use for your tongue," said Snape, capturing Harry's lips in a searing kiss.

Without breaking the kiss, Snape spread the lube on his own cock and started the prep ritual: one finger, two fingers...

Writhing wildly, Harry tore his lips from Snape's. "Oh! Sev, it's enough, I don't need more prep! We haven't seen each other for two whole weeks; I can't wait any more."

"Sshh. Behave yourself. When did I give you permission to call me 'Sev'?"

Harry rolled his eyes, impatient. "I forgot what a git you are!"

Then Snape put Harry's legs over his shoulders, and touched Harry's entrance with the head of his cock.

Harry stopped breathing, and looked at his lover, expectant. Teasing him, Snape rubbed his head on the sensitive hole, penetrating barely an inch and withdrawing soon afterwards.

"Damn, Severus, put it inside, now!"

"Be calm, Harry. I will," answered Snape, in a husky voice that made Harry shiver.

Harry's cock throbbed. "Oh, Merlin."

Snape grabbed his hips and begin to penetrate him. The contact of flesh on flesh was amazing, and set Harry on fire.

"Sssev..." Harry hissed.

Snape went deeper and deeper, undulating his hips in a tiny rocking motion, in and out. Harry realised that his lover was trying to hold back, perhaps feeling that Harry was too tight, after two weeks without sex. Snape moved slowly at first, preparing him, easing his cock deep, his breathing becoming heavier and more rapid. Finally, he was buried completely.

"You feel so good, Severus. I missed you so much," murmured Harry, rocking his hips back to urge Snape to go on.

The boy's move made the older wizard gasp.

"Harry... Slow down, or I won't last very long."

Snape picked up the pace, pulling out, thrusting in more deeply than ever. He rotated his hips, as if trying to give the most pleasure to his lover. Moving with accuracy, he hit Harry's magic spot head on, making the boy cry out his pleasure every time he did it.

"Faster, Severus..."

Snape circled Harry's cock with his hand and began to pump him, increasing the rhythm. From time to time, he rocked his hips in that way that made Harry see stars. Then he hit his prostate again, once, twice, and Harry couldn't even find his voice to ask him to go harder and faster. Harry was lost in his feelings; there were only feelings, nothing else.

Panting hard, Snape pounded him mercilessly. The boy was still able to say his lover's name before feeling his body tense and start to tremble. "Severus!"

Feeling the hot spurts of semen filling him, Harry's body throbbed uncontrollably.

Snape lay on top of him while both felt the last spasms of pleasure subside.

~* ~* ~

  
Some time later, they were still snuggled.

"Severus, don't you have to go?"

"Don't you want me to spend the night with you?"

"But... the Dursleys..."

"Harry, even if they enter this room, they won't see anything besides a normal empty bedroom. Have you ever heard about that spell that makes Hogwarts invisible to Muggles? I cast a similar one here. If they open that door, they will think you have disappeared. Just that."

"Wicked!"

"Now tell me, how are they treating you?"

"Oh, as always: I'm starving and bored."

"Apparently, I have already solved your boredom problem," said Snape smugly. "As for the food, I have brought you _nutritive_ items, products that won't stale for three or four days if you keep them in your bedroom: apples, your favourite nut bread, pasteurised cheese and Hungarian salami."

"Hungarian salami? Where did you get it?"

"Well, in Hogsmeade, at a good _charcuterie_."

"Did you go shopping especially for me?"

Snape shrugged. "I also brought Hedwig's favourite bread."

Harry's eyes widened, and he pinched himself to see if he wasn't dreaming.


	13. Hierosgamos: Primi Gradus

**13 - Hierosgamos: Primi Gradus**

  
_Everything is worthwhile, if the soul is not small._  
(Fernando Pessoa)

The owls had come in the morning. Hedwig had returned from Hermione's house with a book, of course: _How to Apparate - A Beginner's Manual_; Pigwidgeon had brought a birthday cake, some meat pie and tons of sweets sent by the Weasleys; Hagrid had sent him a Moke-skin moneybag (Grawp had killed a Moke, and Hagrid, mortified, decided to use its skin for a good cause).

Harry had spent the afternoon in the most complete boredom. Finally, he was of age. Big deal. Nothing was going to change in his life. Except that now he could learn to Apparate, and Severus wouldn't need to take him in his arms when they needed to go from one room to the other in the cottage. But it had been a long time since they had done that. And Harry liked to be held by Severus when they Apparated.

Ah, Severus. Severus hadn't shown up for almost a week. Hadn't he promised to come at least twice a week? Had something happened to him?

Boredom was turning into concern when Snape Apparated onto Harry's bed, precisely on top of him.

"Ow! Git, mind your landing! Do you think that you're weightless?"

Snape didn't even care to glare at his lover, or to roll off him. On the contrary: he eased himself on top of Harry.

"What kind of reception is this for a special guest? Do you want me to go?" he murmured in Harry's ear.

Harry smiled, happiness finally reflecting on his face.

"Happy birthday, brat."

"Oh. You did remember it."

"I also brought you a present."

"Really? I wasn't expecting that..."

"It's not every day that you reach the age of consent," whispered Snape, before capturing his lips in a searing kiss.

Some kisses later, when Harry was sure they would remain in bed and... proceed with what they were doing, Snape pulled back, sat on the bed, produced a package from his robe and handed it to Harry.

The wrapping paper was laminated and seemed impregnated with magic. Harry opened it carefully. Inside, there was an ancient, yellowed book: _Hierosgamos_, by Asklepios Arrheton.

Harry raised his eyes to Severus, puzzled.

"I marked a page for you to read. Do it now," ordered Snape.

Harry browsed the book and found a peculiar page marker: a tiny green satin serpent. The marked page belonged to the chapter named "Primi Gradus". In a cryptic, hermetic language, the page described a... betrothal ceremony.

"Er... Why... What..."

"Don't you understand yet?"

"You know, I'm not really brilliant."

Severus glared at him. "Today you are reaching the age of consent. This event doesn't make our relationship legal, because I am still your teacher. However, symbolically, it means that now, and only now, you are considered able to consent to our relationship."

"What a heap of crap. What's the difference? Yesterday I couldn't and today I can?"

"Yes, all those limits are arbitrarily set. But this symbolic meaning is important, magically speaking. It means now you are able to..." Snape seemed surprisingly embarrassed "...to agree to a... commitment."

Comprehension started to dawn on Harry. "Commitment... And this book... You are asking me to..."

"It is analogous to what is called an 'engagement' today. However, what I am suggesting is that we follow this ancient rite of mutual commitment, which is the _Primi Gradus_ of the _Hierosgamos_. 'Hierosgamos' means 'sacred marriage'."

"Oh! And what do we have to do?"

"It's quite easy. We only have to join our hands, palms together, facing each other, and pronounce the vows written on that page."

~* ~* ~

  
With joined hands, both pronounced their vows, first Harry, then Snape - who had his eyes fixed on Harry's while repeating the incantation:

_"Otoved elh euq otnemitnes oa leif etnematulosba e ele a orecnis ieres euq, zilef oriecrap uem ranrot arap odut ieraf euq ed ahnumetset omoc adiv a ocovni."*_

As soon as Snape pronounced the last word, a ring materialised on their fourth finger of the right hand. It was a sterling silver obsidian ring. A magical ring. A feeling of infinite bliss and union with his partner spread through Harry's soul. Snape smiled, and withdrew his hands. As in a trance, Harry gazed at him, intrigued.

"It is done. Only we can see these rings. That magical influx you felt was exchanged only between us. This ritual has no external meaning, except for the fact that it enhances our magic indirectly. The rings will remain with us as long as we keep our vows. If one of us breaks the vows, the rings will simply disappear, and our magical union will be broken."

"So if you cheat on me I'll know right away?"

"You have to understand, Harry, that it doesn't mean I cannot have sex with another person, provided that I keep my vows."

"How come?"

"Sometimes, under certain circumstances, as a spy, I have no choice."

"Argh. I... understand. And I don't want to know about that. "

"That's understandable. I'm sorry if I literally broke the magic of the moment. I just wanted to make this clear between us, because the vows we made imply this sincerity."

"And what about this sacred marriage thing?"

"One day, when we are not teacher and student any more, and when we both are free from all these chains that bind us to Lords and Masters and prophecies, we might perform the ritual that will bond us for life," said Snape, in his low, deep voice. "It's a very complex ritual. You can read about it in the book."

Harry felt a strange peace. Severus made him feel safe. For the first time, he trusted another person completely, and that was a wonderful feeling.

They made love once more on the bed of the tiny room with bars in the window. Amazingly, now that room didn't seem like a cage to Harry any more, but like an airfield from which he could take off and fly high into the sky.

  
NOTE:

* Approximate translation: _"I call Life to witness that I shall do everything in my power in benefit of my partner, and that I shall be absolutely loyal, sincere and faithful to the feelings I devote to him."_


	14. A Gallant and Sensible Man

**14 - A Gallant and Sensible Man**

  
The three Dursleys were seated around the kitchen table. Uncle Vernon was browsing through the mail, and Aunt Petunia was pouring tea for Dudley, who looked furious and sulky as usual.

"There you are, Diddy darling," said Aunt Petunia, handing him the cup.

Uncle Vernon gave a great sigh, and picked up another envelope.

"What is this?" Uncle Vernon glared at Harry. "Letter from the... likes of you? What have you done this time?"

"Me? Nothing!"

"Hm. At least this time they sent the right stamps, instead of cluttering the envelope like only abnormal people would do."

(Uncle Vernon was referring to the mail that the Weasleys had sent him two years ago, when, not knowing how many stamps she should put, Mrs Weasley had covered the entire envelope with stamps, much to Uncle Vernon's exasperation.)

Uncle Vernon took the paper out of the envelope, suspiciously. It was an utterly normal sheet of paper. Only one sheet. Keeping some distance from the letter, he started to read.

Harry kept shifting his weight from one foot to the other. What could that damn letter say?

Uncle Vernon frowned. A slight spasm crossed his large purple face. Finally, he handed the letter to Harry. "What they say there... is it right? Or is there some trick here?"

Dying of curiosity, Harry took the letter.

_Dear Mr Dursley,_

We write to inform you that your nephew, Mr Harry James Potter, is required to take a Remedial Program, to be administered between August 14th and August 17th, under the tutelage of a professor of our school.

Your nephew will remain under our care during this period. Afterwards, he will be escorted to the Weasleys' house, where he shall spend the remainder of his summer holidays.

Professor Snape will arrive to pick Mr Harry Potter up on August 14th, at 9 o'clock.

Yours sincerely,

Minerva McGonagall

Deputy Headmistress

Harry widened his eyes. Professor Snape? What the heck? August 14 would be the day after the next; Snape had spent the night with him two days before and hadn't told him anything about that.

"Er... It's true. I have to take this Remedial Program. I haven't told you before because I didn't know I would have to take it during my holidays."

Uncle Vernon narrowed his eyes at his nephew mistrustfully. Aunt Petunia grimaced, as if disgusted, and Dudley seemed terrified - probably because his experiences with "Harry's lot" hadn't been exactly pleasant.

~* ~* ~

  
Harry barely could sleep on the night of August 13. He had packed all his belongings the previous evening and, at six o'clock, he was already pacing his bedroom. Hedwig was awake and excited too.

"Hedwig, do you like Severus? He always brings you your favourite bread..."

Hedwig tipped her head, seeming to ponder.

"Yeah, we're going to get out of here, soon. I don't know where we're going to, but anywhere is better than here, isn't it?

Hedwig hooted cheerfully.

~* ~* ~

  
Uncle Vernon had made a point of waiting for the professor's arrival - which naturally made him furious, because he would arrive late at work. Dudley had taken his breakfast and was hiding in his bedroom, with a heap of snacks and sweets. Petunia was doing the housework as always.

It was still ten minutes to the appointed hour, but Uncle Vernon kept shooting nervous looks through the window all the time. "I hope he has the decency to dress properly, " he snarled.

Merlin! What would Snape be wearing? He had never seen Snape wearing anything but black robes - or perhaps green ones - socially. And how would he get there? Harry hoped that he wouldn't try to come by Floo, like the Weasleys had.

Harry paced the sitting room anxiously, dressed in his too large sweatshirts with the sleeves rolled back five times and his extremely baggy jeans. He didn't want Snape to see him like that, but what could he do?

From time to time, Dudley showed up on the stairs, peering.

At nine o'clock sharp, the doorbell rang.

Uncle Vernon set off down the hall to open the door. Desperately, Harry tried to see what was happening, but the voluminous body of his uncle blocked his vision completely. Furthermore, he wasn't able to hear anything besides Snape's low and grave voice, so intense that it made Harry's entire body vibrate. Damn, that voice was so sexy that even when Harry was nervous it exerted its powerful effects.

With evident but weaker than expected reluctance, Uncle Vernon stood aside so the guest could enter, and Aunt Petunia stepped forward to greet him.

Snape entered - tall, slim, dressed up as a perfect clerk (tailored suit, grey tie), his hair tied in a ponytail. He bowed gallantly to the astonished Aunt Petunia and took her hand to his lips. Harry's eyes widened. Uncle Vernon didn't see any of this: he was closing the door. Aunt Petunia blushed.

"My name is Severus Snape. I am very pleased to meet you, Mrs Dursley."

Aunt Petunia took a few seconds to recover from the shock and invite him to sit on the couch. Uncle Vernon approached them, and the three of them sat down - Uncle Vernon and Snape on the couch, Aunt Petunia in an armchair. Snape shot Harry a severe look. Harry gulped, not knowing how to react. Nobody had invited him to sit, so he remained on his feet, behind an armchair facing the couch.

"What has the brat done, that you have to take him away in the middle of his holidays?" asked Uncle Vernon.

Snape cleared his throat. "Indeed, your nephew is exceedingly rambunctious. He considers himself above rules. I can imagine how hard it must have been for you to deal with him."

Uncle Vernon's moustache trembled with pleasure. And Dudley's head appeared at the stairs, behind Snape.

"Mr... Professor... er...," stammered Uncle Vernon.

"Snape."

"Professor Snape. We have done our best to raise him as a _normal_ boy, to educate him properly. He's not even our son, as you know, but we tried. But you see, it all comes down to bad blood, it's hopeless. His father was a good-for-nothing, a lazy scrounger."

Snape arched an eyebrow. "Very true, Mr Dursley. James Potter was my schoolmate at Hogwarts, and I'm afraid your impression of him is mostly accurate."

Harry bit his lower lip and narrowed his eyes at Snape - who sneered at him.

"And the boy resembles him, surely." Snape went on. "He is remiss and unruly. Precisely for this reason, the Headmaster has assigned him those Remedial classes during the holidays."

"Understandable. I, for my part, don't have any reservations about it, Professor Snape. You can take him. Boy, go fetch your things."

~* ~* ~

  
When Harry arrived at the foot of the stairs with his trunk and Hedwig's cage, Snape stood up. "Mr Dursley, I know that this is extremely unpleasant for you, but we don't want to attract the attention of your neighbours. Might we use your fireplace in order to... you know..."

Aunt Petunia made a disgusted face, and Uncle Vernon shuddered. "What else can we do? Your kind seems to make a point of disturbing our peace. It's a pity that you are one of them, because you seem to be a rather sensible man."

~* ~* ~

  
A little dizzy, they went out of the cottage fireplace.

"You... greasy bastard! What the heck was that? Speaking about me that way? And about my father too!" Harry put Hedwig's cage on the floor and pounced on Snape, trying to punch him.

Snape retreated and held Harry's fist. "Stop wailing, brat. Don't you understand what we've got? Three entire days here, and with Albus's permission."

Harry looked at him suspiciously. "How did you get that?"

"Albus needed someone to teach you to Apparate, and I was the only one available. I had to sacrifice myself, once again."

Then Harry relaxed and flashed a shining smile. "Wow! So we can get out, take a walk, go have an ice-cream?"

"No chance. I know how you long to make the cover of the Daily Prophet, but I am still a spy, and you are still the main target of the Darkest Wizard of the Universe."

"Some things never change..."


	15. Intentions

**15 - Intentions**

  
They had spent three wonderful days together. The Apparation practice had gone very well - Harry seemed to have a natural gift for it. After overcoming his initial fears, he had made constant progress.

Only one incident had threatened their tranquility: they were having a bath in the stream that crossed the garden of the cottage, some miles upstream, when a kelpie had appeared. Terrified, Snape had dragged Harry out of the river and Apparated with him to the house immediately. Harry had complained he wasn't a child any more and could take care of himself very well, thank you, and that now he could even Apparate on his own. But Snape had scowled: one should not play with kelpies.

Apart from that, everything had been idyllically perfect: they had cooked together, talked extensively and cheerfully to Godric and Salazar, walked in the green and pleasant woods, and tried all the Kama Sutra positions.

Everything was so perfect that, on their third night, after they had made love one more time, Harry asked, "How do you manage to be a perfect lover? I can't understand that."

"Why, did you doubt my Slytherin Sex God's skills?"

Harry stuck his tongue out at his lover. Then he made a serious face again. "You... you're not putting an act, are you? I mean, I know you have to be a hell of an actor to convince Voldemort that you're on his side. When you're with me, are you pretending to be another person too?"

Snape frowned. "Well, Harry... Of course I am! There's no such thing as 'being who we really are' when we are with other people. We are always putting on an act. For example, when I am a teacher, I am not myself either. Not even when I am talking to the Headmaster, or reporting to the Order. We are always playing roles."

"I don't know if I get this. It's weird, to think that we can't be who we really are. I don't want you to pretend to be another person when you're with me just to make me happy."

Snape gave a deep sigh, and didn't say anything. Harry was too young. How could he understand? How could he understand that, for the first time, Snape was trying to be a better person to another person?

~* ~* ~

  
The next morning, Snape woke up with Harry's erection poking his back. With a surprising energy so early in the morning, Harry ended up leading their entire lovemaking session.

They remained a long time snuggled in the afterglow.

"You're so beautiful when you come!" said Harry.

Snape smirked. "Of all the cliches, that is the most absurd."

Harry lifted his head a little, propping it on his hand. "But you said the same thing to me once."

A dark eyebrow raised. "Really? A good shag can make you say quite strange things!"

Harry's face showed pain and anger at the same time. He turned his back on Snape abruptly.

Snape lifted his head and laid his hand on Harry's shoulder. "Harry?"

No answer.

"You didn't get angry just because I..." Snape shook him gently. "Look at me, Harry."

Nothing.

"That's not fair. Do you remember what you said to me yesterday, that I was a perfect lover, and that you would prefer that I didn't pretend to be different from what I am, even if, in doing so, I would not be so perfect? Very well, now you have just heard a manifestation of my real repulsive being, and what happens? You get angry."

Deeply irritated, both with Harry and himself, Snape got up and went to the bathroom. Before he closed the door, he gave another look at Harry, who was facing the wall, completely still.

~* ~* ~

  
He looked at himself in the mirror. _Severus, you idiot. What have you done now? And why are you so anxious about what he might think of you? Since when did he get so important? Ah. For a long time, admit it._

He turned on the tap, pressed the dispenser, spread the liquid soap over his hands and put them under the running water. The ring... where was the ring?

He turned off the tap in a hurry, and looked again. The ring was gone. His hands trembled. The ring was gone! Harry didn't love him any more.

Without even drying his hands, he set off to the door.

When he opened it, he almost stumbled over the boy, who stared at him in evident despair. "Severus... The ring..."

"Give me your hands, Harry. Let's join our hands again."

And four trembling hands joined two-by-two, palm-to-palm. Once again, magic seemed to spring, spreading through their bodies, making them vibrate. And the rings reappeared.

Soon, Harry was in his arms, and he could hear the fast simultaneous beating of their hearts.

"It was just for a second, Severus," said Harry against his chest, his voice choked. "It was just for a second."

"It's all right, Harry. Never mind."

"I do mind! I'll never forgive myself."

"Nonsense."

"No. It's... so fragile. And all this time, you never stopped loving me, even for a second."

"'All this time' was only two weeks. I thought the rings would be a good idea, would give you more confidence." Snape pulled back a little to face him. "You know that I am not the most communicative person in the world."

"You're trembling. Don't you want to go back to bed?"

Snape let himself be led. A profound weariness seeped into him.

They lay down face to face, Snape with his hand on Harry's waist, and Harry resting his hand on Snape's chest.

"Do you forgive me?" asked Harry.

"There is nothing to forgive. You have to learn that intention isn't everything."

"What do you mean?"

"The ring shows only the intention; however, intention is not all that matters. For example, I didn't mean to hurt you, a few minutes ago. Nevertheless, I hurt you."

"I don't get it. The ring has never disappeared before. If you just wanted to use me, or to hurt me, the ring would have disappeared, wouldn't it?"

"That's correct."

"So I shouldn't have become angry with you. I don't understand what you're saying."

"Harry, what I'm saying is that I can hurt you unintentionally, and this is still wrong. I shouldn't have said what I said to you. I should have known that you would get hurt, to the point of denying your vows - even if it was just for a moment. Wasn't that what happened just now?"

Harry buried his face in Snape's chest. "Forgive me, please."

Snape embraced him. "Idiotic boy. Don't let that ring deceive you, don't let it dominate you! It's not the ring that decides what we feel. There will be other moments when we will deny everything that the ring symbolises, but if we want, we can start it over. As many times as we want."

Harry pulled back, wiped a tear away and nodded.

Snape rested his palm on Harry's chest. Then, teasing, he held one of the boy's nipples between his fingers and pinched it. Harry moaned, and his penis jumped to life.

"And if sometimes you wonder if I am a pervert, because I want to have sex with you all the time, like a sixteen-year old boy, I would like to tell you that, before being with you, my libido was almost null."

"What? You mean... you never wanted to have sex?"

"Exactly. How do you think that I could spend so many years without a lover? Even when I started visiting Pier, my main purpose was to relax from all the tension I was subjected to. Once a week was more than enough."

"But why you... er... So, why...?"

"Why what? Why do I like having sex with you?"

"Er... Yeah."

"Foolish boy. It's the way I have found to communicate with you. Just that."

Another tear shone in Harry's eye. With an angry look, Harry tried to get rid of it by blinking. "Merlin, and you're good at this! But why do you want to... communicate with me? Why do you care?"

Snape shrugged. "Do I know the answer? If I told you that you are not as selfish and moronic as I thought, if I said you are... pretty or responsive or affectionate... none of this would be a good explanation. Perhaps the best explanation is that... you _need_ me. I don't know why you _specifically_ need someone so wrong for yourself. I cannot understand that. However, I have already seen some potions that display the same behaviour: the most unlikely ingredient is precisely the one that is indispensable for the potion to work suitably. Maybe you are one of those exotic potions."

Harry smiled. "Right: you like me because I'm an exotic potion. And I know why I need you: because you're the only one who... had been there."

"There?"

"In hell. Or in any other place. Wherever I am, you are always there, with me."

"Well, that's not very flattering. It seems you only want me because I am the only one available."

Harry frowned. "It's not that, you idiot. It's because you're the only one who understands me!"

"Ah. That's _a little_ better."

Harry pinched the older wizard's buttocks. "You're right: we suck at words. Don't you want to try... er... that other way of communication?"

Snape gave his trademark sardonic smile and, not wanting to waste more time, captured Harry's lips in another extremely expressive kiss.  


**The End?**

Not really, again. The story will continue in "Winter Thunder".


End file.
